Many folks believe that metabolism is the rate at which your body burns calories. But that’s just one thing your metabolism does. In fact, your metabolism is your body’s biochemistry. The way all your hormones interact, a.k.a. your endocrine system, has a major impact on your ability to lose weight. Some hormones, like DHEA and testosterone, tell our bodies to burn calories; some, like ghrelin and insulin, tell our bodies to hoard fat. Although the fundamental function of any weight-loss program is and will always be calories in and calories out, you can bolster your efforts to lose weight by optimizing the hormone levels in your body.

Unfortunately, due to the toxic levels of chronic stress, dangerously processed food (Anti-Nutrients, or what I also call Master Disasters), and endocrine-disrupting chemicals everywhere in our environment, your hormone levels and metabolism have likely been thrown off-kilter. The Master Your Metabolism plan tackles these critical threats head-on.

First, you Remove Anti-Nutrients, the foods your body doesn’t recognize and that confuse and mess up your hormones. Next, you Restore Power Nutrients, the whole foods nature intended us to eat, the foods our bodies recognize, the ones that send healthy, metabolism-boosting messages to our hormones. And last, you Rebalance Your Energy, paying attention to when and how much you eat (which includes using this counter in your daily life—everywhere, all the time—to track the quality and the quantity of what you’re taking in each day).

Follow this three-step plan and you’ll reboot your entire endocrine system, so your body can get back to burning fat, building muscle, and making your metabolism work for you instead of against you. If you haven’t already, read my book Master Your Metabolism to learn more about how our bodies are under attack and how you can fight back to protect your biochemistry with a few key lifestyle changes. In the meantime, check out this at-a-glance peek at the Master Diet. As long as you focus on its three main principles, you can’t go wrong.

THE MASTER YOUR METABOLISM DIET PLAN

Step One: Remove Anti-Nutrients
• Hydrogenated fats
• Refined grains
• High fructose corn syrup
• Artificial sweeteners
• Artificial coloring and preservatives
• Nitrates and nitrites
• Glutamates
• Foods from animals treated with hormones or antibiotics
• Foods treated with pesticides

Reduce these
• Starchy vegetables
• Tropical, dried, and canned fruits
• Excess soy
• Excess alcohol
• Canned foods

Step Two: Restore Power Nutrients
• Legumes
• Alliums (garlic, onions, leeks, scallions)
• Berries
• Meat and eggs
• Colorful fruits and veggies
• Cruciferous veggies
• Dark green leafy veggies
• Nuts and seeds
• Dairy
• Whole grains

Step Three: Rebalance Energy
• Eat breakfast
• Eat every four hours
• Do not eat after 9 p.m.
• No simple carbs at night
• Eat until you’re full, but not stuffed
• Eat 40 percent carbs, 30 percent fat, 30 percent protein

Apple Cider Vinegar
MASTER ACNE, ACID REFLUX/HEARTBURN, AND CONSTIPATION: Apple cider vinegar (ACV) is a natural bacteria fighter that contains numerous beneficial minerals and trace elements. This wonder food is said to help with weight loss and cholesterol management as well. It is also said to work wonders for your overall health and may even help fight diseases such as osteoporosis and cancer, memory problems, and diseases associated with aging.

Apples
MASTER ASTHMA: Apples stand out among other fruits when it comes to aiding in the general support of lung function and lung health. If you suffer from asthma, eat lots of apples!

Arame (seaweed)
MASTER LIVER FUNCTION: Seaweed naturally detoxifies the liver and aids in removing heavy metals from the body.

Artichoke
MASTER IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME (IBS): Studies have shown that artichoke leaf extract helps reduce symptoms of IBS.

Asparagus
MASTER VARICOSE VEINS: Having an extra order of asparagus may help to protect against unsightly varicose veins. Why? Asparagus is a good source of a flavonoid compound called rutin. Rutin not only has anti-inflammatory properties, but also helps improve circulation and strengthen veins and tiny blood vessels known as capillaries—all of which reduce the appearance of varicosities.

Bananas
MASTER OSTEOPOROSIS: Bananas are loaded with potassium. Potassium helps suppress calcium excretion in the urine, thus minimizing the risk of kidney stones and reducing the risk of osteoporosis.

Barley
MASTER GALLSTONES: Barley is loaded with insoluble fiber, which has been shown to help prevent gallstones.

Beans
MASTER CONSTIPATION: Black beans contain insoluble fiber, which studies have shown not only helps to increase stool bulk and prevent constipation, but also helps prevent digestive disorders like IBS and diverticulosis.

Brown Rice
MASTER BLOOD PRESSURE: Brown rice is very high in magnesium, which has been shown to be helpful in reducing the severity of asthma, boosting bone strength, lowering high blood pressure, reducing the frequency of migraine headaches, and reducing the risk of heart attack and stroke.

Carrots
MASTER YOUR VISION: Carrots are loaded with beta-carotene, which is a powerful antioxidant that helps provide protection against macular degeneration and the development of senile cataracts, the leading cause of blindness in the elderly.

Chile Peppers
MASTER ULCERS: Chile peppers have a bad—and mistaken—reputation for contributing to stomach ulcers. Not only do they not cause ulcers, but they can help prevent them by killing bacteria you may have ingested, while stimulating the cells lining the stomach to secrete protective buffering juices.

Cilantro
MASTER DETOXIFICATION: Cilantro functions as a form of natural chelation therapy, helping to detox the liver and remove heavy metals from the body.

Cinnamon
MASTER TYPE 2 DIABETES: Cinnamon may significantly help people with Type 2 diabetes improve their body’s ability to respond to insulin, thus normalizing blood sugar levels. Both test tube and animal studies have shown that compounds in cinnamon not only stimulate insulin receptors, but also inhibit an enzyme that inactivates them, thus significantly increasing the cells’ ability to use glucose.

Cranberries
MASTER UTIs: Cranberries’ powerful anti bacterial properties help to fight gum disease and urinary tract infections. It is also a mild diuretic.

My coach has always told me that one of my assets as an older athlete has been my stability. What is stability? It’s your body’s ability to stay grounded and aligned during movement, which is by and large a function of strength. Andy shared a great story with me about the Olympic gymnast Olga Korbut. For those of you who remember this petite powerhouse (and for those of you who don’t, I’m sure you can catch a video of her in motion on YouTube), you might recall her incredible acrobatic manipulations of her arms, legs, trunk, and spine. At the ripe age of twelve or thirteen she seemed as if she was as flexible as a contortionist in the circus.

Apparently, however, she wasn’t flexible as much as she was hypermobile (i.e., she had a greater-than-normal range of motion). And as soon as she stopped training at an elite level and lost muscle mass, her joints went berserk. For many years, she was hobbled by arthritis and could barely move, much less bend. Swimmers are often hypermobile and consider their youthful ability to rotate their arms in their shoulder sockets proof of everlasting flexibility. Unfortunately, this is often a false flexibility. The key to harnessing the mobility is strengthening the muscles around the joints and making them stable.

This was one of the primary ways that Andy helped me. When I began working with him, he seemed to be exposing weaknesses I didn’t even know I had, which really got under my skin. I could barely do even the simplest exercises with minimal weight. For example, using five-pound dumbbells and carving letters in the air—a T, W, V, M, and J—with each arm while balancing on a Swiss ball felt arduous. But as I learned to focus on my core and use it to cue into my balance, I began to feel different in my body. And it showed in the water. After only four weeks, I broke a U.S. Masters record.

In a way, Andy retaught me how to think about my body: from my head to my toes, from my bones to my muscles and even my joints. He showed me how, as a swimmer for more than thirty years, I had overdeveloped my front chest muscles and how my middle back was actually weak. With any imbalance, a strong part of your body will compensate for a weaker one. After doing a careful inventory of the ways I used my body and then watching me swim, he came up with a series of movements that literally changed the way I moved, strengthened muscles I barely knew I had, stabilized the muscles around my joints, and basically put my body back into balance. The exercises helped me focus on my core, realign my skeleton, and strengthen the muscles around my joints, making me more stable. They also helped stimulate my nervous system so that my muscles worked more fluidly in coordination. One specific result that I noticed right away was that my fast-twitch muscle reflexes were much faster.

And although I have always had big shoulders and narrow hips, my abs didn’t always look the way they do now. I will say without a doubt that Andy’s workout is the supreme reason behind the ripple.

The long-term results? I swam faster, I looked leaner, and I felt better than I had in years. I’ve worked with Andy for more than three years now. He has helped me hone those original exercises, and I still do the simplest ones religiously. For this book, Andy has helped me outline five groups of movements that work on the three planes of movement. And they all stem from and strengthen the core. The more comfortable you become with the exercises, the better you will move from a singular plane of movement to multiple planes.

The Anti-Plan

It was because of Andy that I decided that I didn’t want this book to offer a plan that reduced what I did to a program that anyone could follow without thinking. What differentiates Andy’s approach to strength training from other methods is that it asks you to pay attention to the subtleties of each movement and how your body is responding. If you line up five people and ask them all to do a squat using only their own body weight as resistance, you will probably see five different versions. One person might be leaning too far back in her heels; another might lean too far forward with his weight in his feet; a third might have her knees outside of the line of her toes; and a fourth might have overdeveloped quads and weak hamstrings and so use the stronger muscles without ever strengthening the weaker ones, or vice versa.

If you do an exercise without giving thought to proper alignment and without awareness of your own deficiencies or imbalances, then you will never right the wrong. If, however, you focus on each of the movements and learn to do them correctly, then over a short period of four to five weeks you will not only strengthen your weaknesses, you will also bring your interrelated muscle groups (and joints and bones) more into balance. What’s important at this point—before beginning the workouts themselves—is that you start believing in their ability to really change your body. These exercises can and they will— but you’ve got to make it happen.

Andy has helped me design five groups of three exercises (for a total of fifteen movements) that will enable you to strengthen your core (including your back, chest, and abs), your legs, and your arms—all while maximizing your efficiency, alignment, and stability.

First, you will learn discrete movements that strengthen your core, using only one plane of movement; gradually you will incorporate more complex movements that combine two planes of movement (biplanar), and finally you will progress to a workout that includes strength training on three planes of movement (multiplanar).

At the same time, you’ll be varying the speed or tempo of certain exercises to create more of a challenge and sometimes an aerobic component. Another way to ramp up the challenge, especially for your balance, is to integrate an unstable surface for some of the exercises. Of course, this requires that you be completely aware of and comfortable with the proper execution of each movement.

You will be using some equipment such as a Swiss ball, a BOSU trainer, and a medicine ball as well as gym machines, including an elliptical, treadmill, and various weight machines. You will learn how to engage your core in each movement, whether it’s a plyo push-up, a body squat, or an incline press.

Together, these exercises will help build your body’s strength while training it to move efficiently, conserving energy and protecting it from injury. The movements build on one another, so that as you become more proficient and move from singular-plane movements to biplanar movements to multiplanar movements you progress from simple to more complex. And as you do the movements, you are engaging more and more muscle groups and joints and using more motions—mimicking how you move in everyday life and in sports.

We can’t go anywhere without someone asking us, “How can I tell my friend-daughter-sister-niece-cousin she is dating the wrong guy?” We recently received an email from a woman who was panicked about her sister’s upcoming wedding.

My sister Katie has lost her mind! She’s engaged to a total loser and is about to make the biggest mistake of her life. She’s a brilliant researcher, a talented musician, and a wonderful friend. Her fiancé is out of work and has no ambition. Katie does everything for him. She cooks, she cleans, and she pays his bills while he sits around playing video games all day. I have shared my concerns, but she says she loves him and that I simply don’t understand what a great guy he is.

Katie’s response is typical. Women put their blinders on when it comes to men and shut out their friends’ comments and concerns…

Unfortunately, most women feel that they shouldn’t speak up. They’ve been burned when they tried to help before, and they don’t want to get burned again. We disagree. You must say something. You owe it to your friend or loved one.

Speak Up!

We are a community of women, and we need to be real and honest with one another. If you are a mother concerned about your daughter, the same is true for you. If you saw your daughter trapped in a speeding car headed for a cliff, would you stand by and watch, hoping and praying things would work out for her? Of course not! Think of her relationship as that speeding car. You must do everything within your power to stop her from crashing. Whether you are a friend or a relative, here are your options:

Option 1: Don’t say anything.

Result: You now have a not-so-real friendship because you have to pretend to be supportive of her choice in a husband. You make excuses for not wanting to spend time with them because he makes your skin crawl. You slowly drift apart, and the very thing you were trying to avoid (losing her as a friend) happens anyway.

Option 2: Tell her your concerns in a caring and compassionate way. (Details on how to do this follow.) What do you have to lose? Your friendship has already been impacted; just look at Option 1. Give her a little bit of credit, too. Don’t just assume she is going to drop you if you share how you really feel. What if it actually has the opposite effect? What if she were desperately waiting for someone to give her permission to call it off?…

Here’s how to have that difficult conversation. By approaching the conversation in this way, you might have a better chance of actually being heard.

Five Things You Can Do to Help Her See the Light

1. Speak up.
2. Validate, then activate.
3. Be nonjudgmental.
4. Shift the focus to you by using “I” statements.
5. Offer concrete help.

1. Speak up.
What do you have to lose? There is a good chance your friend will ignore you (or, even worse, end your friendship), but you owe it to her to say something. Yes, she might get defensive, or it may damage your friendship. But think about it this way—if she does end up marrying the wrong guy, your friendship will most likely be impacted anyway. Who wants to hang out with an unemployed video game addict?

2. Validate, then activate.
It’s easier to see the truth from a position of strength rather than weakness. Start off by pointing out some of her best qualities. For example, “I have always admired your compassion for others; you deserve to be treated the same way.” Start with a compliment, and she may be more receptive to what you are telling her.

3. Be nonjudgmental.
You understand your friend’s strengths and weaknesses. Avoid pushing her buttons. Try to sit down with her and share your concerns in a way that does not come across as judgmental. Don’t say, “We can’t believe you are going to throw your life away by marrying this idiot.” Instead, you can say, “It’s difficult for me to be honest with you because I am afraid it might damage our friendship.” This may give her permission to be honest with herself and open the door for further communication.

4. Shift the focus to you by using “I” statements.
We use this approach a lot in therapy, and it is a wonderful tool for defusing difficult conversations. Frame your concerns by starting with “I.” For example: “I feel so uncomfortable when he puts you down and calls you names.” Or say, “I really worry about how isolated you have become since you got engaged to him.” She is much less likely to become defensive with this approach than if you tell her, “You are dating a jackass!”

5. Offer concrete help.
Help your friend by eliminating any excuses she has for not ending the relationship. For example, if she is living with her boyfriend, invite her to stay with you for a few days. Tell her you will help her find a new place, and call in the troops to help her pack and move. If wedding plans are under way, tell her that you will cancel the party—and she can cancel the relationship. Say, “I will call all the vendors and try to get your deposits back, plus, I’ll work with your family to take care of the rest of the wedding details.” Lifting these practical burdens may be all she needs to send her boyfriend packing.

A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.

James Joyce wrote that, in reference to Shakespeare. Maybe it’s true when it comes to geniuses; who knows? But the rest of us make plenty of mistakes—and not intentionally, either. We make mistakes because we’re human.

We make mistakes because of knowing too little; we make mistakes because of imagining we know more than we do.

We make mistakes when we neglect the importance of a moment; we make mistakes when we think only of the moment.

We make mistakes when we become impatient; equally, we make mistakes when we are indecisive. There are foolish acts; there are foolish failures to act.

We make mistakes out of boldness; we make mistakes out of timidity. We make mistakes when we are overly ambitious and when we are not ambitious enough.

We make mistakes when we let our actions become detached from our values.

Just as mistakes come from many causes, they come in all shapes and sizes. There are tiny gaffes that embarrass us for a moment or two; there are major blunders that fill us with chagrin and remorse for years or even decades. But whatever their origin and whatever their scale, there is one thing that all our errors have in common: They are opportunities to learn.

They are portals of discovery—not only for geniuses, but for the rest of us as well.

When we come up with a wrong answer to one of life’s innumerable questions, we are at least one step closer to a right answer—or at least the answer that’s right for us. When we let ourselves down by inattention or lack of conviction, the twinge we feel is a healthy reminder to maintain our standards and our vigilance. When we goof, and confront the consequences of our goofing, we have the opportunity to figure out what doesn’t work, and why.

In short, we grow by messing up.

I stress this because I’ve observed that, especially in difficult or uncertain times, many people seem terribly afraid of making mistakes—as if a mistake were a personal humiliation from which one would never recover, the dreaded “blackmark” on the permanent record.

But that’s just not how it is. Mistakes are very seldom permanent; most of them can be fixed with less difficulty and drama than one imagines, and there’s nothing shameful about making them. There is, however, something sad and limiting about the fear of making them.

If we let ourselves be controlled by the fear of stumbling, we can walk only the widest, most-trod paths. If we refuse to cut ourselves some slack for messing up, then we’ll be disinclined to take chances; and if we don’t take chances, we may never find our passion or our truest selves. If we’re afraid that the beat of our own drummer might lead us to a misstep, then we can only march along with everybody else.

And you know what? Even if we play it as safe as we possibly can, we’ll make mistakes anyway! Everybody does. Mistakes are inevitable. They’re part of life.

If life is what we make it, and if we want our lives to be vivid and authentic, then we have to accept the fact that we will mess up now and then along the way. We can’t eliminate errors, so we may as well embrace them. Admit them when they happen, forgive ourselves for making them, and most of all, learn from them.

No mistake should go to waste!

It’s impossible to think of transforming your life and leaving your body behind. That sea of pastel dresses I waded through at the Salt Lake City court house reminded me of how alienated FLDS women are from their bodies, which are nothing but baby machines. The prairie-style clothing desexualized them and made them all look the same. Individuality is dangerous in a cultish world. That’s why when a small group of us started going to a Curves fitness center, we did it in total secrecy.

I never thought I’d want to add exercise to my to-do list. After Bryson was born, I was tired to the bone. My mother started to help me care for Harrison two days a week because she saw how worn out I was. Because Brycie was premature, I was breastfeeding him on demand while caring for Harrison and my six other children. My exhaustion was as overwhelming as it was unrelenting, but after a few months my two most vulnerable children were stabilizing.

One night when I went to pick up Harrison from my mother’s, my cousin Lucy bounded into the room in leggings and a Curves T-shirt. I was shocked. Lucy had been at least one hundred pounds overweight her entire life and had finally had gastric bypass surgery. I couldn’t believe she dared to dress so provocatively.

“Oh, I just got back from working out, and I haven’t changed my clothes yet,” she said.

“You wear that when you work out?” I asked.

“I have to. It’s impossible to use the machines wearing a skirt.”

Lucy’s attitude was contagious. She felt good about herself and was not at all embarrassed by the way she looked or dressed. Meanwhile I was so distressed and unhappy that I couldn’t imagine ever feeling or looking that carefree.

“Do you want to come with me to work out? Several of us are going regularly now,” Lucy said.

“I’ve never been to a gym before,” I said. “I don’t know how I’d like it. Don’t you get tired?” I couldn’t risk doing anything that might add to my exhaustion.

“No way!” Lucy said. “It’s just the opposite. It gives you more energy and helps you feel better. Besides, it’s a lot of fun. If you’re able to come three out of four times each week, you’d be getting the recommended workout.”

“Let me think about it,” I said.

I checked around and realized that I might be able to get enough help with Harrison’s care to go to Curves. Doing something forbidden appealed to me, but I could not afford to get caught. Merril would come down hard on me for such blatant rebellion. I started going three times a week. At first I didn’t say much to the other women who traveled in the van with me because I didn’t want anyone to know I was sneaking out without permission. But gradually, as we began to chat, bits of information slipped out, and I soon realized that several of the others didn’t have their husbands’ permission either.

Lucy was an anomaly in the FLDS; she genuinely loved her husband, whom she called her “lord and master.” Lucy had long-standing issues with obesity, which in the FLDS made her a less desirable wife to the more powerful men. Although he was born into generational polygamy, her husband didn’t come from a powerful family. We always thought this was why the FLDS let her marry him when she’d asked; her husband was a good worker, and the cult wanted to keep him. Not only was he handsome, but he was a very decent guy who gave Lucy permission to go to Curves for health reasons in the aftermath of her gastric bypass surgery. A few other women in our group also had the blessing of their more liberal husbands, who liked the idea that their wives wanted to look good.

Going to Curves was like going to a party three times a week. The nearly hour-long round trip gave us time to talk in the van. Such opportunities were rare; several of us had been so busy in the past ten years that we hardly even saw each other. But after a few trips to the gym, our conversation deepened, and we discussed areas in our lives that were not working. For most of us, the big concern was the way our husbands treated us. Few of us were happily married or felt our lives were working out. Lucy’s marital contentment was a novelty.

A few women believed the party line of the FLDS, that if a woman abides by the will of her husband, her happiness is guaranteed. But others among us were expressing frustrations. Even the women who had permission to go to Curves wanted it kept secret from the FLDS. If we were seen and reported, our husbands could be put in an uncomfortable position because they’d allowed us to engage in such utter nonsense. Those men could be interrogated about why their wives had encouraged other women to rebel against their husbands.

Curves was a symbol of just how cruel our world had become: in order to exercise for half an hour a few times a week, we had to act like secret agents.

But the men were onto something: exercise is dangerous. Once women start getting control over their bodies, they think about getting control over their lives. After a woman loses fifteen pounds and likes the way she looks, having that ninth or tenth child is less appealing. Getting in touch with her body puts her in touch with other areas of her life, like sexuality. Women who claimed sexual power were as threatening to the FLDS as women who claimed any other power. We weren’t supposed to have sexual needs; we were merely the breeding stock that kept the cult replenished.

Curves was in Hurricane, a small town outside the FLDS community. We were at high risk of being seen there because a lot of FLDS went there to shop, do business, and eat. So when we pulled up to the gym, we established a lookout. Before we left the van, the scout checked to make sure the coast was clear. We all wore leggings under our skirts, so in the parking lot we removed our skirts. This was an ungodly act. Once we had our skirts off, we waited until the lookout said “Run!” and raced to the door.

Safely inside the gym, we acted like everyone else. We talked, laughed, enjoyed the music—a plea sure forbidden in the FLDS—and worked out on the machines. No one would have thought we were risking anything. We were discovering the real power of women free to be themselves.

We talked mostly to each other and avoided people who were not from our insular world. After the workout was over, we got ready to leave and waited. This was a critical moment because there could only be one dash to the van. When the signal was given, we ran for our lives. In my nearly fifteen years of marriage to Merril, this was the most outrageous act I’d ever committed…

I had started exercising because it sounded like fun. I’d never worked out to music or on machines before. And before long I lived for the days when I could sneak out to go to Curves. Exercise was a healthy way to rebel; it gave me a physical outlet for my feelings. Before Curves I’d thought that nothing good could happen if I left my comfort zone. Now I saw that things might, in fact, get better. I felt stronger not only physically but also mentally. My view of the world was expanding, and so was my confidence. Unbelievably, a mere half hour of exercise, three times a week, was transforming my mood and boosting my energy. Eight babies in fifteen years had ravaged me. The idea of feeling powerful in my body was something I didn’t know existed.

As I lost a little weight, I liked the way I looked and began to care more about what I ate. Starting to feel in control of my body made me think I could be more assertive in other areas. The more in control I felt, the less I was willing to let myself be controlled. No wonder the men in the FLDS didn’t want their wives working out! I was breaking free in small steps. I no longer even cared if I was caught going to Curves. Much of my life continued to march along on the same path, day by endless day, but at least now I turned my eyes to the sky more often. I also began to see how I’d collaborated in digging my own rut. My reluctance to venture out of my comfort zone and experience something new had kept me firmly in my place.

Getting out of a rut can take a long time, but the beginning is simple: Do something you wouldn’t typically do. Take a risk. Expand your world in some small way. The FLDS put limits on every aspect of my life, but after I escaped I realized that I had been limiting myself with my need to stay safe, to avoid risks. Unless I challenged myself to do things that made me feel uncomfortable (at least initially), I’d never fit into my new, unfamiliar world. I needed to change.

Lisa: Hi Malaak! I really admire your work and look forward to reading your book. My question is: How can I ensure that my donation (of either time or money) is making the most impact? A few years ago I was planning to make a donation to a charity I felt strongly about, but I discovered the director makes over $400,000 per year! I was hesitant to give to something that overpays its employees so drastically! Is there any way to find out how to make sure my donation will really make a difference? Thanks!

Malaak: Good question. You should always feel comfortable that your donation is making the most impact and that your money is going toward aiding the mission of the organization and not the pocket of the executive director! A good rule to know is that non-profits should strive to have an overhead of no more than 25 percent, with at least 75 percent going toward direct services, whatever that may be. And, in fact, fiscally responsible non-profits try their best to lower their overhead yearly, and there are plenty out there who have succeeded in having overhead of less than 10 percent. Another way to combat this is to write your check for direct services instead of for general operating expenses. For example, instead of writing a check out to just UNICEF, you would write it out to UNICEF’s Malaria Campaign. And lastly, there are many great websites that rate the effectiveness of non-profits such as www.charitynavigator.org, www.networkforgood.org, and www.independentcharities.org.

Regan: How did you take your incredible vision and break it down to actionable items/tasks to transform it into a reality? I think so often we are inspired by great visions but we get stuck with the overwhelming task of moving them to reality. Thanks!

Malaak: You are right about that. And there are three important things I can say to this. The first is that you should take your great vision and immediately turn it into a mission statement, or at least the first version of your mission statement. This will help you to clarify what you want to do for yourself, the people you want to serve, and assist you when explaining your idea to others. The other is to think SMALL! The best organizations are small, grassroots non-profits who are doing amazing acts of service on the ground. Mother Teresa had a great saying: “If you cannot feed one hundred people, just feed one.” And lastly, surround yourself with people, such as friends and co-workers, who also want to serve but have various backgrounds and experiences. This will ensure that you have a group of well-rounded individuals putting their heads together to build upon your idea. Good luck!

Kimberly: With so much going on in the world, you feel compelled to help. But I always fear fraud or that my help is too minimal. I get all those letters in the mail asking for a donation here and there, and even phone solicitations; I get overwhelmed sometimes! How do you tell the real from the fake, the pressing from the less important? And being a working-class citizen, how can I gauge what’s enough? I can’t give thousands or hundreds, but I have something to give. Does it really make a difference?

Malaak: Kimberly, this is my favorite question! The majority of the world’s citizens live on less than $2.00 per day! So anything that you give can make a huge difference in their lives. Additionally, the average American donation is $4.25 a day. In fact, non-profit organizations rely on the small, constant donations from the average income citizen much more than they do on the chance that they will receive a huge grant from a wealthy individual. So you should feel very satisfied with the fact that whatever you have to give is enough and that you will be doing your part to uplift the world. Now, before you give your donation, do your research to ensure that they are fiscally responsible. There are some really great websites that do this for us now. Check out www.charitynavigator.org, www.networkforgood.org, and www.independentcharities.org.

Shalema: Hi Malaak, I was interested in volunteering, mainly to get my mind off myself and meet a need in someone else’s life. What would the first step be for locating an organization? I’m not sure what type of volunteer work I should be doing.

Malaak: I love for people to try and find their “individual giving platform.” So to start, you should think about what issues cause you to get upset, or energized, or make you want to raise a ruckus? It could be an issue you heard on the news, like global warming, the environment, the high-school dropout rate, the genocide in Darfur, or the increases of kids with autism. Or it can something that touched you personally, like a friend or family member being diagnosed with a disease, or your kid’s school budget being cut. Whatever it is, you should feel passionate about it, because you will get so much more satisfaction as a volunteer. Then, it is as easy as 1-2-3. Again, there are some really great websites that allow you to plug in your city, state, and area of interest to come up with the perfect volunteer job. Try www.volunteermatch.org and www.serve.gov to start. You can also check with your local Y for opportunities and also with your local City Hall. Oftentimes, cities have a listing of volunteer opportunities that they put together for their citizens. And remember, someone once said that “volunteers don’t get paid because they are worthless, but because they are priceless.”

Marci: My question is what can I do to help out my own community. I am a very busy mom (stay-at-home mom, homeschooling and babysitting my two granddaughters three times a week), plus I have all the activities for my daughters. What are some fast and easy things I can do to help that don’t involve a lot of time or money?

Malaak: Because you are so busy, you really need consistency in your service work. Calling you up the night before asking you to do something is probably not going to work and will just cause you guilt, not give you joy. So why not sign up for a twice a month volunteer position during the day while your kids are in school for an hour or two? Perhaps you will serve at a home for the elderly, or at a local soup kitchen prepping meals for lunch or dinner, or maybe you will help sort clothes at a homeless shelter or welfare-to-work organization, or stuff envelopes and make copies at a non-profit organization. Whatever your passion, I think timing and scheduling will help to make the time you have to give back a perfect fit for your life.

Enrich your life this Spring! Get involved in charity, start volunteering, or donate toward your favorite cause. Not sure how to get started? Submit questions to author and humanitarian Malaak Compton-Rock. Her new book, If It Takes a Village, Build One: How I Found Meaning Through a Life of Service and 100+ Ways You Can Too is now in stores.

We’ll select five questions to be answered by Malaak, and we’ll feature the Q&A in an upcoming newsletter. To submit your questions, email BooksForBetterLiving@RandomHouse.com.  Questions will be accepted from April 8^th to April 13^th.  Twenty-five randomly selected people who submit questions will also receive a copy of Malaak’s new book, If It Takes a Village, Build One.

Visit www.angelrockproject.com to learn more about how Malaak started her own foundation, Journey for Change: Empowering Youth Through Global Service, in which she takes at-risk teens on a two week service mission to South Africa to volunteer and experience the world.

Click here to view the contest rules.

I recently gave a talk at Wake Forest University to students about to graduate from business school. During the discussion period, one student said, “I’m not sure what I’ll do. When I decided to go to business school, everyone was telling me it was such a good idea, that it’s the path that will take you to where the money is. Until the recession hit last year, I expected to start earning a high salary right after graduation. I need that salary because of my student loans, and I deserve it because of how hard I’ve worked. Now what am I supposed to do?” I felt for the guy. I’m sure he was very bright and capable, but I also saw him as a clear example of many students today who have lost their way. They’ve been following someone else’s playbook for so long that they don’t know how to think about their futures in anything other than monetary terms.

My first job out of school paid $18,000 a year, and it wasn’t that long ago. My peers and I didn’t expect to make big bucks right away. What we dreamed of was the chance to get a foot in the door, to make a start at following our dreams. Today’s students have very high—and sometimes unrealistic—expectations for how they deserve to be compensated as soon as they graduate. But no one is “entitled” to make a lot of money.

After my talk, I sat down with Steven Reinemund, the former CEO of PepsiCo and now the dean of the Wake Forest business school. He told me how difficult his job was because the primary way the university attracted new students was to show how many graduates landed high paying jobs with top firms. Students thought solely in terms of the potential compensation. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a lot of money, but its role has become far too important in the way people think about or define success. At the time of my speech, many of the top firms weren’t hiring. The well had run dry. I interviewed PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi at the university, on stage in front of students. She was very candid. I asked her what her advice was for students trying to find their way in this environment. She said it was a major opportunity.

When else would you have the chance to follow your heart and take money out of the equation? She said it was time for people to look at the world, find the needs, and try to give back, and she encouraged the students to use the first year or two out of school to do good for someone in need, to volunteer, or to travel. In other words, to use the tough job market as an opportunity to stretch themselves.

Steve Reinemund was also very thoughtful about the business environment and the implications for the university. He said to me, “Business schools need to change. Currently, the best gauge we have for how well we’re doing is when recruiters offer our students the highest paying jobs. It occurs to me that this is the wrong gauge. We’re encouraging students to want the most money instead of pursuing jobs based on what they love, what they’re good at, and what could have a beneficial impact on the country and the world.” This gauge was partly responsible for creating the bubble in financial services that burst in 2008. Talented MBAs came out of business schools, and instead of choosing careers in a variety of sectors that form the underpinnings of the economy—manufacturing, health services, technology, and the like—they headed for big money at Goldman Sachs and private equity firms like the Blackstone Group. Why? Not necessarily for love, but for money.

We began to discuss what it would mean if the measures of success for a university were tied not to how much money its graduates earned but to something deeper and more lasting. This was already beginning to happen to a certain extent, with universities like Wake Forest encouraging students to get involved in programs like Teach for America, AmeriCorps, and the Peace Corps as ways to build their résumés. Career counselors at schools could play an important role by helping students explore career options outside Wall Street.

I asked Nouriel Roubini, professor of economics at NYU’s Stern School of Business, what advice he would give to students coming out of school today that would set them on a course for success. Nouriel is incredibly astute. A full two years before the financial collapse of 2008, he predicted that the United States was headed for a major housing bust, an oil crisis, and a recession that would create a seismic shock in the world economy. Few people gave his predictions credence. The New York Times nicknamed him “Dr. Doom.” Today Nouriel has been proved right. While his message isn’t always easy to hear, he’s one of those rare people who has his finger on the pulse of the economy. Nouriel believes that students shouldn’t go into finance, but instead should share the wealth of their knowledge and experience in other fields. “I think this country needs more people who are going to be entrepreneurs, more people in manufacturing, more people going into sectors that will lead to long-term economic growth,”he told me. “When the best minds of the country are all going to Wall Street, there is a distortion in the allocation of human capital that eventually becomes inefficient.”

Nouriel’s point is crucial: We must reevaluate what success means and how we talk about success, especially to the young people who are making decisions about their futures. Over the past twenty-five years, the financial services arena has grown in importance, becoming a dominant part of our economy. It has a tremendous allure, with most of the talented people coming out of business school headed into financial careers where they are very highly paid. They were no longer considering the broad scheme of the economy and looking at careers in manufacturing, biotech, and other bedrock industries. Now we’ve had a shock to the financial system. The allure is gone, and so are the jobs.

I always tell students, “Don’t go into an industry because you feel that you’re going to get rich from it. Don’t take a job because you think that’s the best money you can make. Always take a job because you love what you do. The money can follow, but if you don’t love what you do, you’re going to be miserable. And if you’re not happy, you’re not going to want to work.”

And now I challenge students to take it one more step: “Imagine if all jobs paid the same. What would you want to do with your life?”

I invite you to ask yourself that question now. Be honest. If you took money out of the equation, what would be your ideal profession? If it’s different from what you’re actually doing or training to do, you face a serious dilemma—a conflict of self-interest. In that case, measure the distance between your aspirations and your reality, and start taking action to narrow the gap. How much are you willing to sacrifice to do the work you love? It’s fine to have aspirations that include financial success. After all, a key premise of capitalism is the opportunity to prosper, no matter where you start out. On the other hand, if you study the backgrounds of the most prosperous people in society today, you’ll see stories of achievement from the ground up. Oprah Winfrey started out as a local radio reporter in Tennessee. Steven Spielberg began his career as an unpaid intern at Universal Studios. Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina worked for years as a secretary at financial firms. Warren Buffett was an investment salesman in Omaha. Ron Meyer, now the head of Universal, started out as his boss’s driver. There are hundreds of similar examples. Today, because their lives seem magical, it’s easy to forget how they got there.

My philosophy about food is pretty basic: Eat simple, wholesome ingredients combined in delicious ways that provide me and my son, Emmett, with calories rich in flavor and nutrition. I love picking vegetables from my home garden. I also like locally raised produce and grass-fed beef—yes, I eat meat!—and organic, hormone-free dairy products. I like foods with little-to-no packaging, no preservatives, and lots of taste. And guess what? It’s not so expensive to eat this way. I know it might be easier (and sometimes less pricey) to zip in and out of a drive-thru than to get up five minutes earlier to make a sandwich. But putting in a few minutes is worth it when you consider the benefits of eating healthful, homemade recipes.

It’s also important to remember that nourishment from meals isn’t purely physical. Epicurus, the ancient Greek philospher, said, “We should look for someone to eat and drink with, before looking for something to eat and drink.” He’s right. Probably even more important than what we choose to eat is how we choose to eat it. Ideally, a meal should be enjoyed at the dinner table with friends and family, instead of gulped down in front of the television. Sharing a meal is a way to connect, to nourish our bodies, our minds, and our relationships. And research shows that kids who eat dinner with their parents regularly are more likely to do well in school and less likely to have behavioral problems. I realize not every family can make this happen, but we should all strive to eat consciously—to make good choices when possible, eat together when possible, and give our food and mealtimes the attention they deserve.

Here’s a bounty of good-eating tips to savor…

Two for One
The SHIFT: If you’re a milk lover, buy milk by the gallon instead of the half gallon.
Save $$: Up to $115 per year.
Save the Planet: A single large container requires less production energy and results in less waste than two small ones. Buying 1- gallon jugs of milk will reduce your waste production by about 12 pounds per year compared with buying twice as many half- gallon plastic jugs.
Shift-it Tip: Warn your kids that a gallon of milk is heavier than they think.

The Best Thing Since Sliced Cheese
The SHIFT: Buy block cheese instead of presliced or shredded cheese.
Save $$: Up to $100 per year for a family of four that buys 4 pounds of cheese per month.
Save the Planet: Block cheeses involve less processing and less plastic packaging than shredded or sliced cheeses, which results in less energy consumption and less waste.
Good for You: Block cheese gives you more versatility in how it can be used for snacks, appetizers, or meals.

What a Turkey
The SHIFT: Use ground turkey instead of ground beef.
Even $$: Prices can be comparable.
Save the Planet: Raising 1 pound of turkey or chicken requires 75% less energy from fossil fuels, 85% less water, and half the land required to produce 1 pound of beef. Poultry farms are also less polluting to air and water.
Good for You: Ground turkey breast has less saturated fat and less cholesterol than ground beef.
Shift-it Tip: If you think ground turkey tastes dry compared to beef because of its lower fat content, try mixing in some finely diced onions, carrots, and celery. This French technique will keep the meat juicy and flavorful.

Chicken Big
The SHIFT: Cook with whole chickens, not cut- up ones.
Save $$: Up to $600 per year if all chicken (4 pounds per week) is purchased whole instead of as boneless, skinless breasts.
Save the Planet: Reduce the energy, resources, and waste involved with processing, packaging, and transport.

Meat Less
The SHIFT: Cut meat out of your diet one day per week and replace it with rice, potatoes, soy, or lentils.
Save $$: A family of four that reduces its meat consumption by just 2 pounds per week can save about $250 per year.
Save the Planet: Raising livestock consumes more energy, land, and water and produces more pollution and greenhouse gases than growing potatoes, soy, lentils, or rice.
Good for You: All else being equal, eating a diet with more whole grains and fiber-rich foods and less meat may reduce your risk of developing cardiovascular problems.
Shift-it Tip: Easily substitute tofu in any dish that calls for beef or chicken.

Ice Ice Baby
The SHIFT: Buy flash-frozen instead of fresh fish. Much of the fish available for sale these days is frozen at sea shortly after being caught. So this means most “fresh” fish was previously frozenanyway— just thawed for presentation.
Save $$: Prices vary by species, but frozen fish tends to cost less than fresh fish, mainly because its shelf life is longer and there’s less spoilage at the seafood counter.
Save the Planet: Even though fish are renewable resources—meaning their populations can be replenished over time—more than 70% of fish species around the world are endangered. The more we can prevent spoilage and the wasting of fish, the closer we’ll get to preserving threatened populations.
Shift-it Tip: When buying frozen fish, look for product that is either vacuum sealed or has a layer office on it. Flash-frozen fish is most likely to maintain its quality.